Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
