Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
