Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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