Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sorry about my life...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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