taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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