All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
