i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
