why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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