If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
