I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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