Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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