I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
