Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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