i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize