it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
