you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
