I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
