At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
