i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
