I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
