he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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