so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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