All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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