he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
