awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
