so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
