Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
