dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
