I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
