and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
