i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
