I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
