So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
