I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
