Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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