Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
