I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
