Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
