shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Holy sore nipples Batman
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
