i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
