I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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