Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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