So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
