I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
