Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize