I wish I could teleport
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize