I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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