and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize