I am puke
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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