That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
