I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
