Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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