my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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