it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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