Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
