It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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