I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
