no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
