I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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