i barfeds in our rink
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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