My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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