I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
