all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
