The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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