somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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