i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize