just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
