i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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