That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
